General Tips For Raising Teens
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Parenting a Teen
Being the parent or guardian of a teen is not as scary as it sounds! Teens often get a bad rap for being lazy, careless, sloppy, and more. Most of the time they are struggling to be independent and to fit in at school, at home, and with friends. Keep in mind that helping your teen to become an adult takes time, patience, and a commitment. There is no such thing as an instant adult! There are two things to remember: teens need lots of love and they need a caring adult to show them right from wrong.
Tips for Parents and Guardians
Let your teen know that you love him or her no matter what. Teens need a trusting and loving relationship with a parent or other adult to feel safe and secure.
Talk to your teen, listen to his or her ideas and opinions, and do things together.
Get to know your teen's friends and learn what they do in school; it helps you understand your teen even better.
Show you care by chaperoning a trip.
Join a parent group or support group where you and other parents can discuss parenting issues.
Attend all parent-teacher conferences at school.
Go to your teen's athletic events and school musicals.
Answer your teen's questions about health risks.
Teach your teen to respect himself or herself and others.
Challenge your teen to discover his or her own incredible potential.
Show your teen that you are proud of his or her accomplishments, both large and small.
Setting limits and boundaries
Establish limits and boundaries, such as curfews, study hours, behavior at parties, and expectations for special occasions, for example, prom and use of the family car.
Define the consequences of unacceptable behavior, make sure your teen understands the consequences, and then stick to them.
Recognize that some limits are negotiable and others are not.
Guide your teen toward choices that will keep him or her safe. While teens may fight with parents about some decisions, they usually realize that the limits placed on them are a sign of love, rather than control.
Monitor your teen's behavior-what he or she says and does, where he or she goes and with whom, and when to expect him or her home.
Redefine your limits of control over your teen's life as he or she starts to think and act more mature. Otherwise you risk some major problems in your relationship.
Monitor your own behavior-what you say, what you do, and what you believe. Your behavior will make a huge difference in the choices your teen makes.
Communicating with your teen
Be honest and open with your teen when talking about your values, beliefs, and ideas. It may be wise to just say "Here is what I think about...," briefly explain your views, and then drop the subject.
Help your teen to make responsible choices by talking about their options.
Tell your teen if you are disappointed or upset with his or her behavior.
Praise, hug, encourage, and say "I love you."
Express your expectations for his or her goals and accomplishments.
Recognize that your teen's life may be very different from your own adolescence.
Your teen deserves guidance, high but realistic expectations for achievement, and a fair balance between rules and freedom.
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